[ our meadow. it is just— so endearing that they have their own little hideouts. jayce's shoulders visibly give a little slouch to relax, his hands releasjng from behind him to stead a seat on his bed. ]
Great. Good, that sounds— perfect. [ so he'll reach for his straps— unfasten, and get ready to tighten his brace right around his leg, starting at the buckles that clench his thigh. ] Are you in the mood for fruits?
[ The tension leaving Jayce doesn't go unnoticed, but Viktor won't comment—for now. Instead he takes a step forward, looking down at his partner sitting on the edge of the bed and thinking about how easy it would be to push him backwards and join him.
No. Jayce had put effort into looking nice, and so Viktor can behave a little longer; at least until tonight, he'll continue being a proper gentleman. ]
[ jayce is a bit distracted now that his focus has relaxed to his brace. two of the three thigh buckles have been properly fastened and tightened around the slab of muscle, now fixing the final one. huh. sausage– jayce muses, partially to himself. ]
I don't have any . . . [ he trails off, and becomes increasingly aware that he's fallen into innuendo, drawn by the quick double-take turn of his head and a tight pull of the brace's final buckle. too tight. agh, ow—
Viktor, [ he warns, in between a sheepish grin. more than that and perhaps they wouldn't leave his abode without another one of his many raging boners. jayce shakes his head with a flash of teeth, finalizing a knot and bold in his brace that tightens at his knee and clamps at his heel. ]
[ Viktor laughs, unabashed and bright. ] Alright, I'll behave, for now.
[ Seeing that Jayce is finished with tightening his brace, Viktor offers him a hand. It isn't about helping him up, more just an excuse to pull him close enough to kiss once he's on his feet. He keeps it chaste, though, considering how close they are to a bed. ]
[ it is quite clear that jayce is fighting for his life when he's helped to his feet and terribly close to everything that sets his inner fire aflame. lips that press so sweetly makes the animal in him want to strike; the smell of his dearest becomes a pungent musk he wants to brazenly burry himself in, reminded of nights where he couldn't take his lustful yearning and had to put an end to his pent up load— oh, every fantasy in his bed was wilder than the last, sending him over the edge, quelling his desires for only a brief period. he's been steadfast for sometime now, they've only ever fooled around with passionate kisses and heavy petting before jayce shies away. never because he didn't want, because oh did he want.
be he didn't want to taint viktor's reputation in any premarital way, should they be found out. the classy nobles, specifically viktor's parents, would throw him out of the property, never allow him to see viktor again. and viktor—
well, he doesn't want to think heavily on it. that's why he needs to do this. the right way. first, viktor. if he accepts, his parents were the next day's battle. jayce ushers viktor's arms with his hands, which do seem to shake. subtle, but there.
he's happy, but the mystery thing still has him in a very tight vice grip of eager anxiety. did he feel the very same way? would he accept? even if he doesn't have his own house and is surely, very independent, he wouldn't want things to be different—
but it isn't what's desireable in your usual sutirs, is it? ]
And if someone sees us?
[ he still has a playful tone; he too like that exciting game of cat and mouse— only theirs. ]
[ It's been long enough since their confessions that Viktor is starting to wonder if Jayce maybe isn't interested in sex with another man. True, they have an undeniable bond and their kissing is certainly passionate, but that didn't mean that he wanted anything... more. If that were the case, Viktor knows that he'd be happy for things to continue as they are: partners by day, and something like lovers by night. As long as nothing takes Jayce away from him, he'll be content with as much or as little as he's willing to give.
That doesn't mean that Viktor doesn't want, that he doesn't wake from dreams sweating and panting. He'd had plenty of restless nights where he's only able to sleep after satisfying his own lust, silent whimpers of Jayce's name on his quivering lips.
He tells himself that all of this is enough, and if Jayce ever wants less... No, it just doesn't feel possible. Their souls are inextricably entwined with the cosmos, a fact that feels proven by their shared memories and strange color blindness.
Smiling at Jayce, Viktor pulls him close for another kiss before heading for the door. ]
Then they see us.
[ He means it to be nonchalant, but it's also the truth. He doesn't care who sees him with Jayce—if merely being around him is a crime, then throw him in jail. Luckily for the authorities, no one spots them when they sneak into the kitchen to grab sandwich makings and fruit, and no one sees them taking their horses out on a now familiar route. It feels like no time at all before they're back in their meadow, lounging on a blanket and watching the sunset over the trees. ]
[ he's always so . . . aloof when it comes to the world outside their privacy, and jayce envies it, in a way. to simply not care about what others felt or thought about you, it must be liberating.
their date is off to a pleasant start, filled with theories and games of the mind, talking about their days, or maybe the latest memory. jayce pops grapes into his mouth squeezing and suckling on the juices. a natural pause stills their laughs and banter, and its then that jayce feels like . . . he should inch closer to his goal. with a hand weaving fingers inbetween the spaces viktor provided with his own. ]
—I've got something for you.
[ giddy? well, yes. he's been practicing all day. ]
[ The date is wonderful as any time with Jayce is, physically relaxed and mentally stimulating. Their picnic is good, but the company is definitely better, and Viktor tries not to get too handsy even while they're flirting. Maybe he's not totally aware of it, but Jayce's lingering nervous energy is just palpable enough for Viktor to echo some of it back.
When Jayce says he has something for him, it's both a surprise and totally expected. Of course there was something up his sleeve, and it was that secret that was coloring their evening together. ]
Not a sasusage, [ he jokes, some flush painting his cheeks. gift giving was particularly important during courtship, specifically what jayce is moments away from completing. his heart dances as he takes both of viktor's hands in his and cups them together. onces that is prepared, he slips a single hand into his waistcoat pocket, places the small object inside it the the little ball of fingers and palms they made— before cupping the entirety of viktor's hands one last time, as if to seal it shut. ]
You can look.
[ it's a simple thing, but endearing and heartfelt, handmade.
it's the smallest little iron horse that could ever neigh. ]
[ Viktor snorts at that, regretting the innuendo just a little bit. Letting Jayce take his hands, fingers thinner and knobbier in Jayce's strong grasp, Viktor watches him rather than immediately trying to get a look at the gift. It's heavy, for it's size, and he opens his hands when instructed.
A little horse. Viktor smiles as he runs a finger over it, stroking the mane and then lifting it up to better look at the details. ]
You made this? It's so delicate. [ Looking up at Jayce, Viktor can feel himself blushing like they haven't kissed, like they haven't shared strange memories. ] Thank you, my love.
[ jayce feels a gasp catch in his throat and makes it bind tightly in his neck. his heart drops, but in a way that he knows makes it flutter and soar. my love. he has not ever said that, yet. my love— the implications of it, something dear and sacred, reserved. it embodies, perfectly, what jayce felt, and what he has prepared for viktor today— his partner has, perhaps, gotten to it before him, but it is no race. if anything, it was confirmation of something very, very special; a nudge in the right direction, even if it felt they've loved for so long.
jayce was his love. jayce, not anyone else. it was jayce—
jayce's eyes fill with ecstatic hope, wide with surprise and pursuing the man with his hands: on both sides, jayce cups the top of his knuckles and envelops them with callouses that have never been more gentle. he looks for amber pools to watch in his own hazel globes, pupils blown— viktor's timing was exquisite.
he just has to get through to shake, and the slight crack his voice emmits. ]
[ It had flowed from his lips so naturally that, at first, Viktor isn't aware of what Jayce is getting choked up about. He's always honest around his partner, if not totally forthcoming, so maybe... maybe he had thought he'd already said it. Maybe he had already said it, in another life they shared together that had become strange memories. Viktor had never believed in magic until meeting Jayce, and now it fills his life in small, astonishing ways.
Hearing the words back, however, does make Viktor realize what it is that has Jayce's eyes growing to the size of saucers. A blush rises to his cheeks—this is not how he wanted things to work out. ]
No, [ jayce murmurs, blithely though, feeling like he's just heard angels sing, and that it has stunned him into— this silly stupor. his whole torso feels overtaken by fluttering wings, and with a slight gape between his lips, he finally presses his lips together, the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes as well as his mouth begin to crease. ] not here.
[ it felt natural and right, it sat like home in his chest and rang in his hears like the sweetness of honey, like it was always meant to be there, but at the same time . . . to have it heard for the first time in this lifetime made him thaw and pool into a staunch, enamoured puddle of mush. his lips move against each other, clicking when they part, and when he leans forward, he cherishes looking into viktor's beautiful, golden eyes to say, ]
Sun of my life, [ he breathes in— it's time. he's shaking, now, but he hasn't for a moment stopped smiling. ] do you know what I'm wearing?
[ Jayce is smiling, but Viktor's stomach is plummeting. Something so simple and he hadn't been able to do it right for their courtship, his instincts getting the better of him despite being the kind of person to rely so heavily on his brain. He reaches for Jayce's hands, iron horse still clutched in one of his own, and runs his thumbs over his knuckles. ]
I do, I— Jayce. [ The endearment is so sweet and feels like too much. He could never be the sun, he's far from as bright and warm as Jayce himself is. Viktor feels more like a flower following the sun's light and closing in on himself when he's parted from it.
Shaking his head, he tightens his grip on Jayce's hands when he feels them shake. ] Something that makes my already handsome partner look like he's far out of my league?
[ viktor, with eyes as bright as the sunrise, has warmed jayce back to himself. he'd been reserved and isolated from others for the longest time, a little rigid and so focused and working and— tired. it was viktor who thawed his heart to part of what it used to be.
he is his sun. the world had been quite literally colorless without him. and with the strangeness of their memories, shared— it was not their soul's first gathering, if the vastness of the universe could really be so expansive. they're still working on wrapping their head around that, and making science of it helped. people would think they were mad, but it was one thing jayce wouldn't mind keeping to himself. themselves.
his flustered grin splits too wide, his heart feels like its going to emplode in his chest like a dying star. ]
This is my father's. [ if his voice roils a bit at the end— it's because he's excitedly nervous to say his next words, more worried about being rejected by other parties— but he's done a good job on the property, hasn't he? he's recovered every lame horse and has smoothed a gelding into entering its first competitions come the new year. ] He wore it to propose to my mother.
[ His father's? That makes Viktor feel a little conflicted about objectifying Jayce so much while wearing it, and it also explains why it doesn't fit the way clothes would if they had been specifically tailored for his body. It's incredible, though, that they are similar enough in build to have such a precious thing passed down from father to son. ]
I'd like to meet her, someday. [ He smiles up at Jayce, leaving the other part unspoken—I would have liked to meet him.
Then it sinks in. To propose. There's no way that Jayce is preparing to do the same to Viktor, here and now, but he can't help wonder... And now his voice is shaking, too. ] Why wear something so special today?
[ jayce's head bobs in affirmation— his mother has probably recieved countless letters mentioning viktor. he'd have to visit her, at some point— perhaps together. it's hard for jayce to leave his work at the moment.
he really couldn't believe it, could he? his secrets were coming undone right before his partner, it's been months of this back and forth, months that the more time passes the more jayce becomes enraptured by viktor's being, his brilliance and his beauty. was h ready— jayce feels his chest plummet and he makes for the dive, lets the words fall off his lips, one after another, ]
Because, I love you, [ a truth so set in stone, a truth that now comes with proposition attached, partially and suddenly worried now, that for some reason this would startle him, and rejection would plow its way through their smiles— jayce persists, squeezing viktor's hands and rubbing the tops of them, the littlee iron horse a token of this proposal before viktor knew what hit him. ] and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
[ Even if some part of him had guessed this was coming, that doesn't lessen the impact. His heart swells with Jayce's confession, I love you ringing in his ears and making him dizzy with delight. They're in love, and though that was hardly new information, confirming it aloud still feels special.
But... Well, hadn't they agreed not to leave each other? Was that part of a memory, or a dream? Viktor's head is too full and the butterflies clamoring at the walls of his stomach for freedom aren't helping him concentrate. So, better to rephrase and pose a question than lead to assumptions. ]
[ —wow, even when he repeats it for the affirmation of them both, it doesn't make it any less rhapsodic. even jayce's bust is rising and falling a little too quickly, despite his general breathing being quiet, only whisps past his teeth, and the little gap in the front. this pause and the further questioning does make his core tremor, his frame like a leaf in the wind.
the anticipation is killing him. part of him thinks he's messed this up, somehow. ]
[ Viktor sets the toy horse on his knee and pushes both hands back through his hair. He's letting it grow out and it's starting to truly show, falling into his face when he's not taking care to push it back. ]
I think we've known each other less than a year, and that we haven't even slept together. I think my parents are going to have heart attacks, and that you should be with someone who can make you a father because you'd be so good. [ He's shaking bodily now, the tremors moving up from his hands and into his core. It's overwhelming, but he's smiling all the while. ] But I know I'm too selfish to let you go. I know that you're the only person I want to be with. I know that we're soulmates when it's a concept I don't even fully believe in.
[ even when viktor seems distressed, jayce can't help to think he's beautiful, growing locks falling past his cheekbones and framing his face. but . . . even as he holds viktor's hands, feeling the shake through his own, jayce dips his head out of sight. embarassment begins to paint the tips of his ears with everything that could be, well. wrong! about this! w-well, he sputters, and aborts trying to speak any further. from ears to the rest of his face all the way down to his neck, jayce feels himself burn to the brim.
gradually, jayce could be seen deflating in real time. if that's what this is about, he's ready to harshly object— but also shy away, at the thought of his parents, because, yes, but harshly object again, because no, nothing should have to get in his way—
and then, just like that, his attention snatches back up, owlish eyes adjusting to . . . the reality of what viktor's just finalized with. twin souls.
he goes cold and hot all at once. ]
. . . So, [ jayce could feel his chest go tight again, disbelief another splatter on his face. ] yes?
[ He can hear Jayce trying to interrupt, to defend himself, but Viktor is on too much of a roll to end his rant. When he finally does finish, there's a beat of silence before Jayce asks him with so much hope, so much doubt. ]
[ Somehow it's still a shock, and for a second, his throat works as he tries to swallow or speak or anything. Setting the iron horse on the blanket, he reaches out for Jayce and pulls himself into his lap so that he can kiss him. It's needy, passionate, and even when he leans back, he lingers to speak against Jayce's lips. ]
[ jayce thinks he knows what's happening, but he still lags anyway, stunned and accelerated, pressing a kiss to needy lips in any way viktor wants of him, and no mater how much his mind thought to anticipate the joy from hearing yes—
he can't. a little gasp pulls between their lingering lips and jayce's heart goes from leaping to soaring. ]
Yes? [ he can't believe it— he has to laugh but doesn't have the air to, biting into his bottom lip with his front teeth— oh, my goodness. he takes viktor's face within his palms, his mouth splitting to bear a relieved, mirthful beam— ] Yes—
[ the kisses he leaves behind are short amd peppered, because he can't seem to purse his own without giving viktor his gums rather than proper cushioning. when he pulls back, just to see him and, heavens—
his entire face drops. viktor's hair was a beautiful chestnut. his skin, pale peach and stained with such a pretty pink. he keeps breathing inwards, and forgets to ever let it out. only after his fingers take a fallen lock between them, and when his thumb brushes his blushed cheeks. ]
You're even more gorgeous in color.
[ another milestone, another overwhelming realization that would threaten happy tears at the bottom of his eyelids. ]
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Great. Good, that sounds— perfect. [ so he'll reach for his straps— unfasten, and get ready to tighten his brace right around his leg, starting at the buckles that clench his thigh. ] Are you in the mood for fruits?
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No. Jayce had put effort into looking nice, and so Viktor can behave a little longer; at least until tonight, he'll continue being a proper gentleman. ]
Hm, I'm actually craving sausage.
[ Well, mostly a proper gentleman. ]
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I don't have any . . . [ he trails off, and becomes increasingly aware that he's fallen into innuendo, drawn by the quick double-take turn of his head and a tight pull of the brace's final buckle. too tight. agh, ow—
the face he makes. ]
Viktor, [ he warns, in between a sheepish grin. more than that and perhaps they wouldn't leave his abode without another one of his many raging boners. jayce shakes his head with a flash of teeth, finalizing a knot and bold in his brace that tightens at his knee and clamps at his heel. ]
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[ Seeing that Jayce is finished with tightening his brace, Viktor offers him a hand. It isn't about helping him up, more just an excuse to pull him close enough to kiss once he's on his feet. He keeps it chaste, though, considering how close they are to a bed. ]
Let's go sneak something from the kitchens.
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be he didn't want to taint viktor's reputation in any premarital way, should they be found out. the classy nobles, specifically viktor's parents, would throw him out of the property, never allow him to see viktor again. and viktor—
well, he doesn't want to think heavily on it. that's why he needs to do this. the right way. first, viktor. if he accepts, his parents were the next day's battle. jayce ushers viktor's arms with his hands, which do seem to shake. subtle, but there.
he's happy, but the mystery thing still has him in a very tight vice grip of eager anxiety. did he feel the very same way? would he accept? even if he doesn't have his own house and is surely, very independent, he wouldn't want things to be different—
but it isn't what's desireable in your usual sutirs, is it? ]
And if someone sees us?
[ he still has a playful tone; he too like that exciting game of cat and mouse— only theirs. ]
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That doesn't mean that Viktor doesn't want, that he doesn't wake from dreams sweating and panting. He'd had plenty of restless nights where he's only able to sleep after satisfying his own lust, silent whimpers of Jayce's name on his quivering lips.
He tells himself that all of this is enough, and if Jayce ever wants less... No, it just doesn't feel possible. Their souls are inextricably entwined with the cosmos, a fact that feels proven by their shared memories and strange color blindness.
Smiling at Jayce, Viktor pulls him close for another kiss before heading for the door. ]
Then they see us.
[ He means it to be nonchalant, but it's also the truth. He doesn't care who sees him with Jayce—if merely being around him is a crime, then throw him in jail. Luckily for the authorities, no one spots them when they sneak into the kitchen to grab sandwich makings and fruit, and no one sees them taking their horses out on a now familiar route. It feels like no time at all before they're back in their meadow, lounging on a blanket and watching the sunset over the trees. ]
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their date is off to a pleasant start, filled with theories and games of the mind, talking about their days, or maybe the latest memory. jayce pops grapes into his mouth squeezing and suckling on the juices. a natural pause stills their laughs and banter, and its then that jayce feels like . . . he should inch closer to his goal. with a hand weaving fingers inbetween the spaces viktor provided with his own. ]
—I've got something for you.
[ giddy? well, yes. he's been practicing all day. ]
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When Jayce says he has something for him, it's both a surprise and totally expected. Of course there was something up his sleeve, and it was that secret that was coloring their evening together. ]
Oh? And what kind of something is that?
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You can look.
[ it's a simple thing, but endearing and heartfelt, handmade.
it's the smallest little iron horse that could ever neigh. ]
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A little horse. Viktor smiles as he runs a finger over it, stroking the mane and then lifting it up to better look at the details. ]
You made this? It's so delicate. [ Looking up at Jayce, Viktor can feel himself blushing like they haven't kissed, like they haven't shared strange memories. ] Thank you, my love.
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jayce was his love. jayce, not anyone else. it was jayce—
jayce's eyes fill with ecstatic hope, wide with surprise and pursuing the man with his hands: on both sides, jayce cups the top of his knuckles and envelops them with callouses that have never been more gentle. he looks for amber pools to watch in his own hazel globes, pupils blown— viktor's timing was exquisite.
he just has to get through to shake, and the slight crack his voice emmits. ]
You love me?
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Hearing the words back, however, does make Viktor realize what it is that has Jayce's eyes growing to the size of saucers. A blush rises to his cheeks—this is not how he wanted things to work out. ]
Of course, I— Have I not told you?
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[ it felt natural and right, it sat like home in his chest and rang in his hears like the sweetness of honey, like it was always meant to be there, but at the same time . . . to have it heard for the first time in this lifetime made him thaw and pool into a staunch, enamoured puddle of mush. his lips move against each other, clicking when they part, and when he leans forward, he cherishes looking into viktor's beautiful, golden eyes to say, ]
Sun of my life, [ he breathes in— it's time. he's shaking, now, but he hasn't for a moment stopped smiling. ] do you know what I'm wearing?
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I do, I— Jayce. [ The endearment is so sweet and feels like too much. He could never be the sun, he's far from as bright and warm as Jayce himself is. Viktor feels more like a flower following the sun's light and closing in on himself when he's parted from it.
Shaking his head, he tightens his grip on Jayce's hands when he feels them shake. ] Something that makes my already handsome partner look like he's far out of my league?
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he is his sun. the world had been quite literally colorless without him. and with the strangeness of their memories, shared— it was not their soul's first gathering, if the vastness of the universe could really be so expansive. they're still working on wrapping their head around that, and making science of it helped. people would think they were mad, but it was one thing jayce wouldn't mind keeping to himself. themselves.
his flustered grin splits too wide, his heart feels like its going to emplode in his chest like a dying star. ]
This is my father's. [ if his voice roils a bit at the end— it's because he's excitedly nervous to say his next words, more worried about being rejected by other parties— but he's done a good job on the property, hasn't he? he's recovered every lame horse and has smoothed a gelding into entering its first competitions come the new year. ] He wore it to propose to my mother.
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I'd like to meet her, someday. [ He smiles up at Jayce, leaving the other part unspoken—I would have liked to meet him.
Then it sinks in. To propose. There's no way that Jayce is preparing to do the same to Viktor, here and now, but he can't help wonder... And now his voice is shaking, too. ] Why wear something so special today?
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he really couldn't believe it, could he? his secrets were coming undone right before his partner, it's been months of this back and forth, months that the more time passes the more jayce becomes enraptured by viktor's being, his brilliance and his beauty. was h ready— jayce feels his chest plummet and he makes for the dive, lets the words fall off his lips, one after another, ]
Because, I love you, [ a truth so set in stone, a truth that now comes with proposition attached, partially and suddenly worried now, that for some reason this would startle him, and rejection would plow its way through their smiles— jayce persists, squeezing viktor's hands and rubbing the tops of them, the littlee iron horse a token of this proposal before viktor knew what hit him. ] and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
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But... Well, hadn't they agreed not to leave each other? Was that part of a memory, or a dream? Viktor's head is too full and the butterflies clamoring at the walls of his stomach for freedom aren't helping him concentrate. So, better to rephrase and pose a question than lead to assumptions. ]
You're proposing? To me?
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[ —wow, even when he repeats it for the affirmation of them both, it doesn't make it any less rhapsodic. even jayce's bust is rising and falling a little too quickly, despite his general breathing being quiet, only whisps past his teeth, and the little gap in the front. this pause and the further questioning does make his core tremor, his frame like a leaf in the wind.
the anticipation is killing him. part of him thinks he's messed this up, somehow. ]
What . . . What do you think?
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[ Viktor sets the toy horse on his knee and pushes both hands back through his hair. He's letting it grow out and it's starting to truly show, falling into his face when he's not taking care to push it back. ]
I think we've known each other less than a year, and that we haven't even slept together. I think my parents are going to have heart attacks, and that you should be with someone who can make you a father because you'd be so good. [ He's shaking bodily now, the tremors moving up from his hands and into his core. It's overwhelming, but he's smiling all the while. ] But I know I'm too selfish to let you go. I know that you're the only person I want to be with. I know that we're soulmates when it's a concept I don't even fully believe in.
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gradually, jayce could be seen deflating in real time. if that's what this is about, he's ready to harshly object— but also shy away, at the thought of his parents, because, yes, but harshly object again, because no, nothing should have to get in his way—
and then, just like that, his attention snatches back up, owlish eyes adjusting to . . . the reality of what viktor's just finalized with. twin souls.
he goes cold and hot all at once. ]
. . . So, [ jayce could feel his chest go tight again, disbelief another splatter on his face. ] yes?
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Will you ask me properly?
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he's breathless, skipping beats— but jayce is eager, quick, q little desperate to quell the inner tremors— ]
Will you marry me?
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Yes. Of course, yes!
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he can't. a little gasp pulls between their lingering lips and jayce's heart goes from leaping to soaring. ]
Yes? [ he can't believe it— he has to laugh but doesn't have the air to, biting into his bottom lip with his front teeth— oh, my goodness. he takes viktor's face within his palms, his mouth splitting to bear a relieved, mirthful beam— ] Yes—
[ the kisses he leaves behind are short amd peppered, because he can't seem to purse his own without giving viktor his gums rather than proper cushioning. when he pulls back, just to see him and, heavens—
his entire face drops. viktor's hair was a beautiful chestnut. his skin, pale peach and stained with such a pretty pink. he keeps breathing inwards, and forgets to ever let it out. only after his fingers take a fallen lock between them, and when his thumb brushes his blushed cheeks. ]
You're even more gorgeous in color.
[ another milestone, another overwhelming realization that would threaten happy tears at the bottom of his eyelids. ]
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