[ yeah . . . that's about what he'd felt, now. it was worse when he was a bit younger— he had no remorse and no guilt for both a lack of consideration for viktor's autonomy and the disregard of a promise kept. jayce hadn't realized the scope of what he'd done, and maybe that's what was the most hurtful to viktor.
jayce feels slight relief when he manages to steer his gaze away, once more, a grotesque smile filling the gaps of their awkwardly crude affections. that took all the will power available to him and gods, he hopes to whatever higher being existed (mage viktor????) that viktor knows he's not kissing him back not because he doesn't want to. oh, no. it's because he deserves something proper and level headed after everything. they both do.
viktor's apology is accepted with a dip of his head, a sweet rub of his thumbs over inorganic limbs, and the press of lips to purple-gold palms, a linger there, mess to bloody mess, that felt okay whilst sharing in their muck. it's okay, he murmurs.
jayce tests it out; first stretching out one leg, rotating his foot and bending his knee. then the other, left side, accompanied by the many clicks of his brace fitting the gears into proper place for a stretch and bend. that and the rotation brings strain to his teeth and neck, a quiet agh as the exposed bone grates against its fissures, but that's not something entirely new. he could move his arms and hands, his overtaken wrist. maybe a wave of all his fingers was in order, to measure movement capabilities. it's all successful. ]
I can feel . . . Touch. Your heat. Joints are functional. Thermoregulation might be, uh . . . Compromised. The pain feels— [ he looks for the word, a descriptor for what felt like he was reading off notes, ] veiled.
[ it is present, but quiet enough to be tolerated. a dull ache where he'd hurt instead of dolor that'd render him nonfunctional. ]
It's there, but it feels blunted. [ there's a better word, for that, he realizes: ] Chronic.
[ he could just, you know. be exhausted and rightfully achey, but this does feel different. he knows chronic pain now, in his leg. it's spread everywhere he's opened. back. shoulder. leg. chest. ]
no subject
jayce feels slight relief when he manages to steer his gaze away, once more, a grotesque smile filling the gaps of their awkwardly crude affections. that took all the will power available to him and gods, he hopes to whatever higher being existed (mage viktor????) that viktor knows he's not kissing him back not because he doesn't want to. oh, no. it's because he deserves something proper and level headed after everything. they both do.
viktor's apology is accepted with a dip of his head, a sweet rub of his thumbs over inorganic limbs, and the press of lips to purple-gold palms, a linger there, mess to bloody mess, that felt okay whilst sharing in their muck. it's okay, he murmurs.
jayce tests it out; first stretching out one leg, rotating his foot and bending his knee. then the other, left side, accompanied by the many clicks of his brace fitting the gears into proper place for a stretch and bend. that and the rotation brings strain to his teeth and neck, a quiet agh as the exposed bone grates against its fissures, but that's not something entirely new. he could move his arms and hands, his overtaken wrist. maybe a wave of all his fingers was in order, to measure movement capabilities. it's all successful. ]
I can feel . . . Touch. Your heat. Joints are functional. Thermoregulation might be, uh . . . Compromised. The pain feels— [ he looks for the word, a descriptor for what felt like he was reading off notes, ] veiled.
[ it is present, but quiet enough to be tolerated. a dull ache where he'd hurt instead of dolor that'd render him nonfunctional. ]
It's there, but it feels blunted. [ there's a better word, for that, he realizes: ] Chronic.
[ he could just, you know. be exhausted and rightfully achey, but this does feel different. he knows chronic pain now, in his leg. it's spread everywhere he's opened. back. shoulder. leg. chest. ]