[ how it makes jayce's heart ache to hear that. not because he wasn't needed, but perhaps what viktor desperately needed above everything else— and what jayce would follow blindedly with. he already had, in fact. keep viktor alive. save him no matter the cost—
the cost was great and yet jayce couldn't ever do it differently. he could never let him go, would think night after night that he should be the one in his place and not the other way around.
(but the universe conspires in a funny way, doesn't it?)
even now jayce cannot fathom what he'd do if viktor expired in his arms right then and there. he could hear the broken voices from time to time, beckoning the fractures filled in deepest crevices of his mind to a juttering maddness only he would know. the kind he'd hear at night and what would keep him awake, the kind he'd ask to, please, just talk to him— because there was something wrong about him now.
but there is little to nothing that jayce could do to actually make it stop. he can't, but he's holding viktor in his arms anyway, over his legs for cushioning, absorb his fists (he thinks he does deserve them, in part)— viktor's face dips into his collar and jayce's hand cups the back of his skull to pull him in further into the curve of his icy neck, the coil across his broad back only serving to urge his hold on viktor's, squeezing him as tightly as he could manage. his strange hypothermia could be of some use to cool the lava-hot ripples pouring from viktor's hexcorization— in the same way viktor's heat brings jayce his own twisted relief and symbiosis that he tries not to think about. the heat warms his bones for once.
he hugs viktor in a way he'd wished for quite a while, hunched into him and nestled neck to neck, clinging as if his blunt, oversized fingers could pry the discomfort away from him. there is something in viktor's spine, he sees it swelling under skin and clattering through inorganic matter— ]
I've got you, I—
[ an ugly crack interrupts. jayce does not know how to describe what he sees as a third arm emerges from the lower slot of his spine. the sound and sight are sickening. it jostles jayce into a trembling, quietly gasping shock. since then, he hasn't let go of viktor and doesn't think he will, his now stinging, wet eyes losing focus.
maybe this was just another nightmare. jayce talks in whispers, but it's hardly anything comprehensible. ]
no subject
the cost was great and yet jayce couldn't ever do it differently. he could never let him go, would think night after night that he should be the one in his place and not the other way around.
(but the universe conspires in a funny way, doesn't it?)
even now jayce cannot fathom what he'd do if viktor expired in his arms right then and there. he could hear the broken voices from time to time, beckoning the fractures filled in deepest crevices of his mind to a juttering maddness only he would know. the kind he'd hear at night and what would keep him awake, the kind he'd ask to, please, just talk to him— because there was something wrong about him now.
but there is little to nothing that jayce could do to actually make it stop. he can't, but he's holding viktor in his arms anyway, over his legs for cushioning, absorb his fists (he thinks he does deserve them, in part)— viktor's face dips into his collar and jayce's hand cups the back of his skull to pull him in further into the curve of his icy neck, the coil across his broad back only serving to urge his hold on viktor's, squeezing him as tightly as he could manage. his strange hypothermia could be of some use to cool the lava-hot ripples pouring from viktor's hexcorization— in the same way viktor's heat brings jayce his own twisted relief and symbiosis that he tries not to think about. the heat warms his bones for once.
he hugs viktor in a way he'd wished for quite a while, hunched into him and nestled neck to neck, clinging as if his blunt, oversized fingers could pry the discomfort away from him. there is something in viktor's spine, he sees it swelling under skin and clattering through inorganic matter— ]
I've got you, I—
[ an ugly crack interrupts. jayce does not know how to describe what he sees as a third arm emerges from the lower slot of his spine. the sound and sight are sickening. it jostles jayce into a trembling, quietly gasping shock. since then, he hasn't let go of viktor and doesn't think he will, his now stinging, wet eyes losing focus.
maybe this was just another nightmare. jayce talks in whispers, but it's hardly anything comprehensible. ]