[ after a moment's pause, after everything seems to slow, as grounding fingers card into his hair and do more than any sort of studying would, jayce looks up. those beautiful amber eyes look haunted, distraught. tears build in them, strain his delicate features with sobs he wished he could smear away as easily as he does with his raising palm, gently push him thumb under his eye to dry the tears himself.
jayce's glance keeps at viktor a good long while, and he realizes just how much harder his heart was beating, jumping, skipping— how dire he felt to be around him now, half because he's always felt it, and half due to the aftershock of a memory that revolved around choosing viktor over everything else. he'd do it again, too. he'd choose him every time.
his chest felt tight in a way that still made his stomach flutter, like a garden overrun by hundreds of dainty wings taking flight. jayce's brows pinch and his lips press firmly, all before allowing it all a release with a pent up breath of calm, but not at all worriedly.
was it too soon to say he was in love with him? ]
Of course not. That was— [ for lack of better wording? ] overwhelming. For both of us.
[ jayce begins to rise, planting his hands on both sides of their resting spot and lifting his torso to sit upright. he considers a pause, because it's something he'd do without asking, but . . . considering what just happened, it was worth it to ask. he vaguely remembers hearing stop, let go, real words weaved with the fantastical, where he couldn't tell which he was living in. he didn't heed them at all.
he feels awful to have caused pain, and jayce wants to snuff it out immediately. ]
Could I hug you?
[ he'd understand if it was unwanted. he didn't listen the first time, distracted as he was.
but he still wanted to be grounded here, in this real life with this viktor and this silly game of curiosity, turned experiment, gone a little wrong. ]
no subject
jayce's glance keeps at viktor a good long while, and he realizes just how much harder his heart was beating, jumping, skipping— how dire he felt to be around him now, half because he's always felt it, and half due to the aftershock of a memory that revolved around choosing viktor over everything else. he'd do it again, too. he'd choose him every time.
his chest felt tight in a way that still made his stomach flutter, like a garden overrun by hundreds of dainty wings taking flight. jayce's brows pinch and his lips press firmly, all before allowing it all a release with a pent up breath of calm, but not at all worriedly.
was it too soon to say he was in love with him? ]
Of course not. That was— [ for lack of better wording? ] overwhelming. For both of us.
[ jayce begins to rise, planting his hands on both sides of their resting spot and lifting his torso to sit upright. he considers a pause, because it's something he'd do without asking, but . . . considering what just happened, it was worth it to ask. he vaguely remembers hearing stop, let go, real words weaved with the fantastical, where he couldn't tell which he was living in. he didn't heed them at all.
he feels awful to have caused pain, and jayce wants to snuff it out immediately. ]
Could I hug you?
[ he'd understand if it was unwanted. he didn't listen the first time, distracted as he was.
but he still wanted to be grounded here, in this real life with this viktor and this silly game of curiosity, turned experiment, gone a little wrong. ]